Pre-Crisis Primer: Another Whiner...

Green Lantern #175-181

“Take This Job--And Shove It!”

Oh god, the yellow! Even the steamroller is yellow.

Holy sub-plots! There's a ton of stuff going on in these issues, so let's get to it. And yes, Green Lantern does face a villain who happens to be outfitted with some yellow weaponry.

Two great things about this story: there's a focus on some pretty rad and colorful Green Lantern villains and the writer finds a way to make Green Lantern interesting to me. The villains on focus here are some of the odder in Green Lantern lore. First encountered is The Shark, not a man who was mutated into a shark, but instead a shark who encountered radiation or toxic waste, or some other such catalyst left floating in the ocean by a careless humanity, who is forced via rapid evolution into a man/shark hybrid. The best part is that the villain is so angry about this mutation, he hates humanity for it. He'd rather be a shark swimming around. Being a man-sized shark, you'd expect The Shark to go around eating the shit out of people right? Well, sure he can, but instead he's telepathic. He eats your thoughts.

Why sully your teeth on flesh when mental powers will do in a pinch?

A shark that's angry it was mutated into a more evolved human-like form AND one which does not chow down on people but instead messes with them with his mind. Blowing all kinds of cliches out of the water there; The Shark is just not what you'd expect. He also runs around in a purple unitard. That's what we like to call 'not giving a fuck.'

Wow, spent a lot of time on The Shark. I dig that guy. Part of my DC Universe (hence the blog) love is definitely towards these goofy, gimmick-heavy villains. That don't make a whole lot of sense, but damn if they're not creative and part of the fun. 

Two alpha-male dicks beat up on the mentally ill.

The story also introduces two new rogues, one of which is the Demolition Team, a group of deconstruction workers with inexplicably gold-plated weapons such as a rivet gun and a jackhammer who are hired by the vengeful Congressman we met during the last story to destroy Ferris Aircraft. The other rogue is the Predator, a mysterious black-clad vigilante with a penchant for claws and axes. He has a stake in both saving Ferris Aircraft as well as wooing Carol Ferris. Considering how superheroes normally treat their significant others, I'd recommend Carol to drop Hal like a bad habit. Yeah, the lunatic with the axe would be a better suitor.

Think about it Carol, just think about dreamboat here.

Let's sum up the story: Hal is attacked by The Shark, who proceeds to mop the floor with the jade hero by devouring his thoughts, knocking him into a psychic coma. But of course, comic books being what they are, Hal recovers and sends Shark-tastic packing. While all this is going on, Vengeful Congressman hires the Demolition Team through our favorite henchmen middle-man, The Monitor. As the DTs (the comic book makes this joke as well) proceed to trash Ferris Aircraft (sub-plot alert: architect John Stewart is hired to fix up the airfield), mostly seeking to prevent Ferris from turning a profit on their new solar jet (sub-plot with Bruce Gordon and the villain Eclipso!) because Vengeful Congressman hates Ferris. 

John Stewart would even be a better Green Lantern....

With Hal incapacitated, sent by the Guardians to rescue another planet in his space sector, The Predator, who has a keen interest in Ferris succeeding with the construction of the solar jet, appears to save the day. Too bad for the Demolition Team that their yellow weapons don't mean anything to a psychopath with a blade fetish. The flesh of vengeful congressmen aren't The Predator's weakness either as he proceeds to turn Vengeful Congressman to sushi when thus completing the whole sad affair.

Oh, and of course the second great thing of this story besides the villains: Hal Jordan acts like a goddamn baby and quits the Corps, relinquishing both his ring and his superhero identity.

Cry-baby. Sorry you had to save a planet of non-humans Hal.

Let's back up a bit, I had mentioned that Hal had been incapacitated during the attack on Ferris Aircraft. When he does finally show up, with Ferris in disarray, Carol gives him all kinds of hell for not being around. What was he doing? The Guardians, rightly, I might add, were a bit worried that Hal, who is supposed to be the protector of an entire space sector, multiple galaxies, is spending a bit too much of his time on one planet protecting his girlfriend's business. Hearing that a far-off planet when is dire need; that is, the planet's core was going to pull a Krypton and pop like a zit, The Guardians force Hal Jordan to get off his ass and save the damn planet.

Which he does do, admittedly, stabilizing the core. Although he bitches about it the whole time. He'd rather be on Earth helping his friends. He's incredibly, pathologically selfish.

What an asshole.

He'd rather be helping his friends business than saving an entire planet. This is the impetus for Jordan quitting the Corps: they forced him to do something he didn't want to do. Namely his job, but Hal doesn't see it that way.

This is where I lose Hal Jordan and where the 'Green Lantern' title gains my interest with the promise of a new character. So exit Hal Jordan and enter...well, I have to save something for next time.

In the meantime, as Hal walks off to enjoy retirement with Carol, I really hope she dumps him for The Predator and someone throws a lemon at Hal, killing him.

Pre-Crisis Primer: Not Everything Needs To Set The World On Fire

Detective Comics #533

“Look to the Mountaintop”

Gas masks. To pull the plug on an old man.

This issue is a done-in-one story. There's been a subplot running between the Batman titles for a bit now that I've been ignoring when writing articles: Sgt. Harvey Bullock is a new cop in the Major Crimes Dept. of the GCPD and he really doesn't get along with Commissioner Gordon. Bullock is either undermining or disobeying Gordon who then threatens Bullock with disciplinary action. Gordon would take away Bullock's gun and badge, he can't play by the rules after all, if only Bullock didn't always get results!

This all comes to a head when Bullock, in a fit of extreme childishness, plays a prank on Gordon that results in the Commissioner suffering a heart attack and lapsing into a coma. This story picks up with word getting out to the criminal underworld that Gordon is helpless on a hospital bed and one group wanting to make that stay permanent.

Even though the crook loses, him kicking Batman in the mug is still center-page.

Frankly, I'd ignored talking about this subplot because I thought it was poorly written and unimportant to the overall scale of these Batman stories. Whoops. I still won't say I'm incorrect in this assumption given that the plot of this issue can be boiled down thus: Criminals attempt to assassinate Gordon in the hospital, Batman stops them and Gordon comes out of his coma, hugs abound.

This is the kind of filler issue that is part of the entire continuing-publication aspect of comics in general. While the stories, like this particular story, are usually lackluster, I do enjoy these quieter stories in between all the major supervillain-of-the-month adventures. Not everything has to be world-shattering and I enjoy that.

Barbara Gordon doesn't need a costume to kick ass.

Another aspect of this issue I enjoyed was the introduction of Barbara Gordon into our selection of stories. Barbara doesn't appear as Batgirl at all but does provide the crucial role of the story, hiding Gordon from the assassins as well as providing the impetus for him to rouse from the coma. The story is framed from Barbara's point of view as she's visiting her father. She talks to him, hoping agaisnt hope that anything she say will stir him. She tells him a story of how he provided support for her growing up, not giving up and always standing by her. Barbara now has to provide that role for her father. Believing in him when no-one else is confident of recovery.

Barbara is a strong character and one of the few superheros who does, and will to a greater extent later, have greater success outside of her costumed role as a human character rather than superhero. Easily the only good part of this entire issue, but a nice breather after the three-part Joker adventure.

Never Date a Superhero. NEVER.

“Superheroes Make Terrible Suitors”

Superman knows how to treat a woman.

In a few past articles, namely those regarding Batman, Green Lantern, and The Flash, I've made quite a few jokes at the superhero characters' inability to maintain any healthy interpersonal relationships. Bruce Wayne makes it a habit to blow off Vicki Vale anytime Batman is needed; Hal Jordan expects Carol Ferris to wait in celibacy while he soars the universe as Green Lantern for years at a time; and Barry Allen thinks it's OK to attempt to marry a woman without ever informing her that he is The Flash, an act which leads to just the kind of super villain attack having a secret identity is supposed to prevent and the poor woman landing in a mental institution. Even Dick Grayson, Robin from the Teen Titans thought the best way to woo alien beauty Starfire is to act moody and withdrawn. Way to set an example Batman.

I swear, the only superhero to show any kind of interest or skill in maintaining interpersonal relationships is Swamp Thing. The man made of moss knows more about humanity and treating others with respect than the rich white guys. So typical, superheroes.

But what is it about superheroes that causes relationships to go so sour? One can cynically argue that it's more of an editorial function, that these male superheroes are valuable as licensed characters popular to a male audience that that means icky girls can't be around to mess up the works and the relationships detailed in these stories will always be rocky and poorly handled. The big monkey wrench in that theory is Superman.

Sorry Batman, Superman is better than you at sex.

Superman is maybe not the most popular superhero anymore, but he is certainly the most well-known. Superman also has the most well-known relationship in comics with the most well-known female comic book character: Lois Lane. Lois is as old as Superman, she first appeared in Action Comics #1 back in 1938 and has appeared in almost every issue featuring Superman since. Lois Lane has starred in her own title, 'Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane.' Sure, she's labeled as Superman's girlfriend, but make no mistake, the 'Lois Lane' part of the title was the larger font. And goddam right that it was. This title ran 137 issues and outlasted solo titles for many other popular characters such as Aquaman, The Atom, Hawkman, and Martian Manhunter. Lois is as popular and as well-known to the Superman mythos as Superman himself.

Superman and Lois have maintained a relationship for the better part of 70 years. Sometimes Lois would be chasing Superman, other times Superman would be jealous of Lois' relationships. Eventually the pair grew up and married. And they remained so. Regardless of the current climate (as of the continuity reboot dubbed 'The New 52' in September 2011, Superman and Lois never had a relationship), the characters themselves never nullified their relationship, never mistreated one another, never divorced. Upon revealing their true feelings for each other, one of the first things Superman did was reveal his dual-identity to Lois as a sign of trust, and most importantly, respect. Take notes, Barry. Superman would never marry Lois without full disclosure.

Are the sour superhero relationships a sign of sexism in comic writing? I hope not. Is there sexism in superhero comics. Hell yes, and I lament that. Is every relationship a case of favoring a male character over a disposable female character? Again, I hope not and I don't think so. Granted, in the example of Barry Allen and Fiona Webb, I do find that series of events worrisome but are holding out definitive judgment until the story ends. Batman is one of my examples of superheroes who flat-out fucking suck at holding down a relationship. His list of exes, Silver St. Cloud, Selina Kyle, Sasha Bourdeaux, Vesper Fairchild, Talia al Ghul etc. is legendary. While Selina Kyle, the thief Catwoman, is usually thought of as Batman's Lois Lane, Vicki Vale has been his longest civilian relationship. 

Hal's a block of wood painted green. No idea why Carol puts up with that shit.

In the Batman comics we're exploring in this blog, Bruce is doing a bang-up job screwing up the chances of any relationship he might have with Vale. While she's still a prominent supporting character in the book, their relationship is now over. The reasons I'm hesitant to just throw sexism out as a blanket reason is the writer's portrayal of Vicki: she ended the relationship, rightly feeling her time and emotions were not being respected and instead of wallowing in her sadness, she seeks out journalist assignments, throwing herself into work as a means of coping and ends up providing great aid to Batman on several cases.

Sexism is present, and is the reason for some superhero failed romances, but isn't the only or major reason I think for the rash of poor romances.

It's possible that the reason is right in front of my face and it's just editorial decisions made to keep the characters bachelors regardless of Superman, but I'm trying not to be cynical about this. It's possible, that's just the story these characters build for themselves: the superhero as a silent, stoic avengers, setting the needs of others above his or her own needs. Regardless, I don't have a lot of conclusions other than that, I don't believe this to be a strict editorial function or a lark of sexist writers, but something to pay attention to and explore more as I get deeper into the Post-Crisis. The one conclusion we can state: superhero characters are terrible at interpersonal relationships. The drama does keep audiences coming back though; that's probably the real answer. When in doubt, look to 'Moonlighting.'

Pimp moss. Take lessons, guys.

Pre-Crisis Primer: I Hope They Find Him Guilty....

Flash 330-333

“The Trial of The Flash Part 2”

Grodd is so evil he refuses to wear pants even at the expense of children's tears.

Back to the giant gorillas; and yes, I'm very happy about this fact. Would be happier if the gorilla in question was Monsieur Mallah, but I won't complain too much. Barry's not happy though; Barry's still having a shitty time of it all. Charged with murder and all that.

Barry's shitty time begins with Gorilla Grodd, the huge, side-burned, naked, telepathic gorilla of evil lore launching his attack on the Flash after spending the last few issues sucking up sub-plot space with his kidnapping and manipulating of the disenfranchised youth of Central City. This attack comes at the same time as the Flash has given up on his Bally Allen persona in the wake of his legal troubles and is allowing friends and family who don't know of his dual-identity think Barry is missing or dead. The most affected by this action is Barry's fiancee, Fiona Webb, the intended target of the Reverse-Flash's attack and the catalyst for Barry killing the villain. Fiona's suffered a complete nervous breakdown amid the stress and shock as well as the possibility of Barry being dead.

It's clear part of her break-down is the sudden 'disappearance' of Barry Allen. Fuck you Flash.

Instead of just revealing his dual identity to Fiona, Flash is content to visit her at various points and then continue brooding about his inability to help her. So while the book's creators show us Fiona trussed up in a straight-jacket and nursing a drug-induced haze, Flash does as little as possible to help her. He sure does feel bad for himself though. I've mentioned at various other times that superheroes are terrible at interpersonal relationships, but goddammit it's true. In fact, I think that will have to be the source of a stand-alone essay. Regardless to say, as poorly as Bruce Wayne might treat Vicki Vale, at least he wouldn't leave her languishing in a mental asylum.

I keep coming back to the plight of Fiona, but it really is a big deal in terms of the overall 'Trial of Flash' story. This part of the story is more disjointed than the first. Instead of a quick pace and the general feeling of a whole house of cards collapsing underneath Barry, this part of the story feels more like it's treading water with Flash trying to keep himself afloat and dealing with both Gorilla Grodd and the hilariously inept Rainbow Raider as well as hypnotic villain Pied Piper manipulating Central City citizens into setting fire to The Flash Museum.

Check out that ass. Oh yeah. Also, I think he's doing a split.

A quick aside: The Flash Museum is one of those unique quirks about the hero. Even though his identity is obviously still a secret, he is so beloved by the twin cities, Central City and Gateway City, that they created a museum with newspaper clippings and extravagant dioramas of adventures The Flash has had as well as statues and descriptions of the villains and heroes Flash allies himself with. The Top, working behind the scenes, using common citizens to destroy the Museum is an ideological blow to the floundering hero.

Going back to Fiona, this is a major underlying current to the entire story and with his constant, almost cruel, dismissal and selfish reactions to his fiance's plight, I find myself less and less caring what happens to Barry as The Flash. Even the milquetoast Hal Jordan, finally back on Earth and currently the only Justice Leaguer to show any kind of interest in offering Barry help, shows up to put the kibosh on the Rainbow Raider and comes off more sympathetic as a hero with his own personal problems. All of Barry's problems come with the territory of being a superhero, but Fiona is a victim of circumstance, and with Barry's refusal to even divulge his secret-identity to her pre-marriage, she's not a victim of her own choosing. I care more about Fiona moving on and healing herself than I do in Barry beating this manslaughter charge and keeping his sanity. 

Rainbow Raiders real name is Roy G. Bivolo. Not a joke.

 

Get your shit together Barry! I like you, I want to root for you, but right now, you're just a dick.

Pre-Crisis Primer: The Titans Hate Religion

Teen Titans 39-40

Tales of the Teen Titans 41

“His Name is Brother Blood”

This is pretty much what it'd it take to get me into a church or other place of worship.

Considering that the H.I.V.E, which stands for the Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination (shit, I love that; it's obvious that the writer came up with H.I.V.E first and the meaning second), hired Deathstroke the Terminator to eliminate the Teen Titans, it's completely understandable that the angry teen heroes would finally take the fight to the obtusely-named criminal organization.

At this point, I'll admit I don't know much about the H.I.V.E. and the writer isn't too forthcoming in details either. In fact, H.I.V.E. (I hate typing that) go ahead and state that they've spent many years building up their organization, complete with beehive-themed bases, and situated agents around the world, but gosh-darnit, they'd be able to start their bid for world domination if only they could get rid of these pesky Teen Titans. At this point I believe H.I.V.E. Is a worldwide criminal organization that has only committed one crime: soliciting for murder. Comics, man.

The Titans show their disdain for grunts and soldiers; the working man gets stiffed again.

What's a superhero comic with only one large criminal criminal organization? Of course the H.I.V.E base is infested with Brother Blood's soldiers waging their own war. I like my superhero conflicts as a three-way too. And like most of the other conflicts in this comic, the bad guys escape to lick their wounds and the fight lacks finality.

While the rip-roaring physical conflict might have been inconclusive, the various inner-conflicts plaguing the members of the Teen Titans take their toll as Kid Flash announces his departure, feeling apart from the team for a long while now; and Robin, citing a need to make his own identity, opts to not leave the team outright, but in light of recent events, quits being Robin. With Both H.I.V.E. and Brother Blood on the loose and these guys take a hike. Some friends. 

At least they posed for a picture before leaving. Thanks guys.

 

With Dick Grayson (no Robin here) as point man, the Teen Titans infiltrate Brother Blood's sanctuary and are quickly captured. Raven, constantly wrestling with the evil influence of her her soul-self as well as her demonic heritage (Evil father Trigon is constantly pressuring his daughter to kill shit), is instrumental in freeing the Titans from a not-so-quick and lava-filled death, while Terra is saved in the nick-of-time from death by marauding mutant by Cyborg. She seems genuinely surprised by this fact, seemingly oblivious to the concept of teamwork. Is it possible she'll turn on Deathstroke yet and not betray the Titans?

No, it's all but inevitable at this point, it's pretty clear Terra hates the Titans just for the sake of having something to hate.

We know she's bad because she smokes. And wears make-up. And fucks her grandfather.

Regardless of the unknown impending betrayal, the Titans rally and in the end, Blood is destroyed, buried in the ruins of his own citadel. With the public now rallying around Blood and his religion, the villain turned into a martyr, Dick and Starfire have to wonder if Blood got exacty what he wanted in the end.

Brother Blood is a weird villain. Sure he hates H.I.V.E. And he doesn't seem to like the Titans, but that's only because they infiltrated his base. They trespassed on his property. Why? Because his religion is popular with the kids and the Titans just don't like it. It's clear Blood is a bad guy in the story, but it's just not clear as to how he's a bad guy. Why does Blood do evil things? Aside from his penchant for dark-cave citadels and gaudy costumes, it seems he's bad just because he's bad. 

Donna shows Cyborg how it's done.

Sure Blood keeps trying to kill the Titans, but they keep trying to hit him. Can we blame him? What else does Blood do? Oh, yeah, he's trying to overthrow a corrupt regime to a small country and he attempts this action through bringing faith, hope, and a sense of belonging to the poor, disenfranchised populace.

That bastard.

You know, in hindsight, faith is the tool of a villain. He is evil. I'm glad he's 'dead.'

Pre-Crisis Primer: The Circus Doesn't Come to Gotham City Anymore

Batman 365-366

Detective Comics 532

“Joker's Wild”

I also have a spotlight that shines my name on buildings.

Batman versus the Joker. If there's a more intense or well-known rivalry in comics, or fiction for that matter, I'm not able to think of one. Seven stories into what will be a long series of Batman tales and we already run afoul of The Joker. He'll show up often, get used to it.

Vale is as badass as Lois Lane here. Why didn't she catch on?

Gotham City photojournalist Vicki Vale, also estranged girlfriend of Bruce Wayne, mostly because she was tired of taking his shit and promptly left his ass, requested an assignment out of the city and was sent to Guatemala to cover an ongoing civil war between the current government and a well-armed rebel contingent. Quickly after arriving in the country, Vale is captured by 'rebels' but manages to get a note off to some tourists before she's taken away. The note makes its way to Gotham City and eventually to The Batman who leaves Jason Todd behind and takes off on a tear to Guatemala.

His face on the train: just in case you didn't get it the first time.

Summing up the plot as succinctly as possible: The Joker has been in the area for a while stirring the pot; supplying rebel raid and then  tipping the government to rebel movements, as well as disguising some of his own mercenary henchmen as one side or the other to cause no small amount of mayhem or ruckus. Batman gets involved and is engaged in both rescuing Vicki Vale from a runaway train (said train happens to be emblazoned with The Joker's grinning visage) and fighting Joker on top of an ancient temple as the Guatemalan government and rebels team up against Joker's mercenaries. All this and Jason Todd makes an appearance as Robin.

He'll cal you an asshole won't you get back to Wayne Manor.

Batman may resent Jason's appearing in Dick Grayson's old identity, but it doesn't discount the fat that Robin does appear.

This is a run-of-the-mill Batman plot. Like the last two Batman stories we've done, the main plot is less of a draw than the over-arching sub-plots. I'm still less interested in Batman than I am the rocky relationship of Bruce Wayne and Vicki Vale as well as the development of Jason Todd as Robin. As basic as the main plot is, I found myself caught up The Joker's antics, as I usually do. Joker's big plan this time around is to destabilize both the government and the rebels, take over the country and then turn it into one giant amusement park. I love that about The Joker: his highly detailed criminal plots seemingly happening on a lark. He's like a terminal dreamer who has the ability to devote all his energy to every idea that runs through his mind and do his best to bring it to fruition.

I think this will work out alright.

If not for all the murder, The Joker might be someone to respect. The American dreamer, always pursuing every idea he has to the tune of profit and success.

Pre-Crisis Primer: Dick and Donna, Mystery Team

Teen Titans #38

“Who is Donna Troy?”

Classy as hell.

Taking a break from the tumult and drama of the various personal issue plaguing the heroes of the Teen Titans, as well as the revelation that spunky new member Terra is actually a spy for arch-villain Deathstroke the Terminator, creators Marv Wolfman and George Perez present a quiet tale about two friends and the various ways the Titans support each other outside of super heroics.

This story is born from an old continuity error in the original Teen Titans stories that most writers and readers were content to ignore. Wonder Girl was originally introduced in comics in the 1950s as a younger version of Wonder Woman, similar to Superboy. Not a separate character, but an established character who was featured in stories explicitly set in the past. In the late 60s, when the Teen Titans began, the writer and editor were seemingly unaware of this fact and presented Wonder Girl as Wonder Woman's sidekick, the two characters existing simultaneously as different people. Essentially, at this point, Donna Troy is a woman without a past. It had been a minor sub-plot running through the title that while Donna was rescued by Wonder Woman from an apartment fire at a young age, she never knew her past or who her parents were.

Dick figuring it out like a pimp.

With her marriage to Terry Long (divorced college professor at least 15 years Donna's senior and possessed of a bitching 'fro and beard) impending, it becomes increasingly important for Donna to know her past, her family, before being able to move on to the next stage of her life. Lucky for Donna, she happens to have a friend who was trained by the world's greatest detective. Also, Dick Grayson doesn't cite some arbitrary charter as a reason to not get involved in the personal problems of friends and teammates but acts like a reasonable human being and agrees to do what he can. So, with that bit of continuity behind us, Robin and Wonder Girl skip off onto the greatest of superhero tropes: the team-up.

Dick and Donna are able to trace their steps from the landlord of the apartment from which Donna was rescued to the headmistress of an orphanage, finally finding her real mother. Donna had been given up for adoption by a scared young mother with no skills and no money after her husband had died in a work accident. The mother, believing Donna had died with her adoptive parents in the apartment fire mourned and moved on with her life. Happy endings all around and Donna finds the closure she needed.

I don't know if what Donna's wearing was ever in style.

'Who is Donna Troy?' is a simple story, but I point out the creators, Marv Wolfman and George Perez, above to highlight not only the work they've done, and will continue to do, with this series, but this issue in particular. This is a comic book story with no physical conflict, no colorful villains, no simmering sub-plots, and no nefarious plot to be unraveled. While not quite being the anti-comic, the story does tend to get mired in old continuity and the need to contribute something to the over-arching shared universe, we can forgive this one typicality for as atypical a comic it is.

'

As much as I love the lack of fisticuffs, image choice was kinda boring.

Dick and Donna are old friends, they were founding members of the Titans, and on the eve of Dick's decision to leave the team, he agrees to help his friend with perhaps the largest problem of her young life. The issue spotlights not just Dick's prowess as a detective but his loyalty as a friend. In the same way, Donna as Wonder Girl is not defined by her immense strength but her compassion towards others as the layers of her past are peeled back. In eschewing any physical conflict the creators force the reader to get to know superhero, sidekick or otherwise, characters as something other than wish fulfillment fantasy. This is a fantastic issue all around and the creators should be applauded for it.

Pre-Crisis Primer: It Always Comes Back to Monkeys

Swamp Thing 25-27

'The Sleep of Reason'

We'll never get away from evil monkeys.

I'm a big fan of horror comics. I like the gruesome art, the twisted, descriptive Lovecraft-like narration, and the short-form story-telling of the comics medium lends itself better to horror than a film or a novel. Comics do have a problem with being scary though: it's hard to do when the story is told through images laid out in a grid. It's easy to see what's coming. Horror comics as a whole may not be scary or out-and-out frightening, but they can be creepy easily enough; and 'The Sleep of Reason' is creepy as hell.

Common fact: super-people hate glass.

 In addition to being another amazing tale in Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing, and aside from being another showcase to the amazing (and under-praised by me so far) art by Stephen Bissette, 'The Sleep of Reason' is important to this blog because it's the first time we see Etrigan The Demon. Etrigan is big, he's yellow (thus completely immune from anything Green Lantern can do to him), and most importantly, he's a rhyming demon, which means Etrigan speaks in amusing meter. Even though The Demon is saddled with a meat suit in the form of uptight prick immortal-human-from-Autherian-legend Jason Blood, a man with whom Etrigan is mystically bonded and shares a soul, it doesn't stop him from also being one seriously badass son-of-a-bitch.

Jason Blood is a knight from Camelot. He was used as a pawn by the wizard Merlin who bound Etrigan to the young knight in an effort to learn the demon's secrets. This plan of course fails, and Blood, now immortal in being bound to Etrigan, wanders the world.

The only pleasant moments in this story.

Jason Blood is introduced as a well-dressed, polite man, who nonetheless delights in mocking individuals he meets with tales of their impending demise, imprisonment, or the general unending malaise surrounding their life. Blood finds it immensely funny that a life insurance salesman is trying to sell him insurance at a bus stop when he informs said salesman that he's destined to be impaled by a giant swordfish that very same day. Earlier in the day Blood found it amusing to let the person whose negligence would lead to the future swordfish impalement know that he'd be spending the next 20 years in prison for the act. Etrigan is less amusing or dapper and more pragmatic. In order to defeat the fear demon that escaped from Hell that makes up the crux of this story's conflict, Etrigan's plan is to murder an entire hospital full of mentally-ill children to deprive the demon of what it needs. Is it wrong I think that's cool?

As rad as Etrigan might be, what's a Swamp Thing story without Swamp Thing? He and Abby are spending a lot of time together, with her helping him come to terms with the fact that his much lamented humanity never existed and he helping her with the fact that her marriage to Matt Cable is disintegrating and both of them completely unaware that Matt is losing his shit in a big way as well as developing demonic powers. Because that just happens.

Uhhhh...I'm pretty sure he fucks those clothes.

Settling into life by the bayou, Abby takes a job at hospital caring for troubled children both as a means to support her and Matt as well as a way to just get some distance from the guy because he spends his days drinking beer and telepathically animating Abby's clothes to act as a submissive version of his wife. And he creates freaky pixie-like prostitutes from thin air when no one is watching. 

Because Abby just can't get away from weird shit, the hospital is inhabited by a fear demon that looks like a small, deformed albino monkey. That sounds funny, but it's creepy I swear! The creature sports a barbed tongue, red eyes and it forces its victims to relive their greatest fears so it can feed on this same fear. My personal favorite is the poor little girl who was responsible for her infant brothers death. The Monkey King delights in sending images of her dead brother to torment the child night after night. It's a veritable fear buffet.

It's not long before both Swamp Thing and Etrigan appear on the scene, both hunting the same creature. As is commonplace with these super-character (the 'hero' just wouldn't make sense) team-ups ('cause that's what it is), both the green guy and the yellow guy ignore the white little fear monkey and start wailing on each other. Normally I'd ignore such cliché fisticuffs, but it does lead to an amazing scene where Etrigan uses his claws to lop off Swamp Thing's arm. In the span of a page, the arm flops to the ground, is picked up again by Swamp Thing who reattaches it to his body, plant roots and shit I guess, and finally punches Etrigan in the face with the newly attached arm. Simply beautiful.

Etrigan is so blown away but what he sees.

 Before long the story wraps itself up in a bow with Swamp Thing, uh, in the swamp; Etrigan towing the fear demon back to hell and Abby going back to her husband who's been possessed by an even more nefarious demon. some kind of shadowy bug-demon who may or may not have been responsible for the Monkey Kings carnage in the first place. It's a shitty bow, but still a bow, and after all, what would comics be without sub-plots?