Pre-Crisis Primer: Water Your Plants

Swamp Thing 22-24

'Roots'

Waldo has nothing on Swamp Thing.

Last we left the Swamp Thing, he had discovered that he wasn't who he thought he was: a man dressed in foliage; rather he found he's the opposite: foliage acting like a man. In a last defiant act as a human being, Swamp Thing cries his heart out, eats a tub of Hӓgen Daaz and promptly roots himself down into the ecosystem of a marsh. He's sad and really doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.

Don't piss off a tree.

 Man or not, Swamp Thing was a generally nice guy to people back when he was walking around and trying to 'cure' himself of the being-a-plant affliction, so naturally he made friends. Abby and Matt Cable, two friends also targeted by General Sunderland from the previous story are naturally worried because they haven't heard from Swampy since he was shot in the head. Still thinking he's mostly human, they set off to look for him in the swamp. Side-note: Since this is a comic, Abby Cable is of course the niece of Swamp Things arch nemesis, Anton Arcane, who will show up often, no matter how often he's killed. Digression aside, what Abby and Matt find instead of a Swamp Thing is a swamp-mound that looks oddly like a man who's had too much ice cream, Creepily enough they also find the Floronic Man, using plasti-skin out of a can (where does he get those wonderful toys?) to hid his normally wooden appearance, studying the Swamp-Thing-mound in the name of science.

After ushering the Cables off and assuring them their friend is in most capable hands, one of Floronic Man's first experiments is to eat a root vegetable that grew from the Swamp Thing's body. Probably the only known instance of man-plant cannibalism in the world of literature. Assumptions though, of course.

He must work out.

This act  drives the Floronic Man mad in so much that it connects him to a representation of all plant life on the planet which calls itself 'The Green' and also convinces him that the plants want him to kill all the humans. Armed with a new mission, Floronic Man wanders to the closest town and starts blowing people up and hitting them with chainsaws.

This act of mass-murder gets the attention of the Justice League who promptly sit on their satellite and...discuss the philosophical implications of all plant life wanting all humankind dead. With the JLA being ineffectual, Abby Cable takes it upon herself to snap Swamp Thing out of his funk. Get over it, bro! Once up and uprooted, Swamp Thing puts on his superhero shoes, faces the Floronic Man and straight-up breaks his fool arm. Because plants don't have time for this shit. Swamp Thing then goes on to psyche out Floro by explaining that he's not a real plant, but a man who wishes to be a plant but still thinks like a man; namely, all the murder. At this point the JLA finally arrive and steal all the credit. Glory hogs.

Witness the shining moment of a previously lame villain. Will be lame again.

This story completes the reworking of Swamp Thing that began in issue 21. Swamp Thing has come to terms with what he is and is ready to face whatever challenges now lie ahead. I also really like how this issue treats The Floronic Man. Rather than focusing on the silly idea of a man who turned himself into wood to perpetrate a life of crime, the focus is instead on a scientist who was ruthless, yet also curious enough, to experiment on his own body as a means of proving himself right. Disastrous consequences be damned. I'm a big fan of forgotten characters and C-grade villains having a chance to shine. It may be cliche, but I'm a fan of the adage "Every character has at least one good story in them." If there's not another one, than this would be a triumph for The Floronic Man.

Pimp.