Pre-Crisis Primer: Jaundice is Lethal

Green Lantern 173-174

"Old Friends, New Foes...!"

I am the Javelin, and I love bananas.

While unbeknownst to him that Justice League compatriots Flash and Batman are dealing with some serious personal problems, Green Lantern Hal Jordan is back on Earth, back in Coast City, and ready to party; partying including punching out criminals all day and kinky superhero sex all night. Some heroes just have no self-pity.

One shouldn't hate on Hal because he can actually keep a woman happy: it's not his fault his hero compatriots have dead wives or flat-out forget girlfriends even exist; no, one should hate on Hal because his stupid ring is useless against the stupid color yellow and he continually makes a habit of fighting villains that have fetishes for said color. I feel the need to point out that this is the third story so far featuring a prominent role for Green Lantern and the second time he's encountered the color yellow.

If Hal Jordan can get the drop on you, you deserve the insult.

Hal's back, enjoying life on Earth and generally getting into hijinks with his rich girlfriend. Hal's girlfriend, Carol Ferris, justifies the rich by running the family business, Ferris Aircraft, which designs and tests all sort of experimental aircraft for the army. She's much better than Hal and I don't know she gives him the time of day. 

Ferris is an interesting place, providing employment to both a scientist obsessed with building a telekinesis apparatus and harboring a secret as well a second scientist, Bruce Gordon, who's very open about the fact that his body has been used as the host for the Angel of Vengeance, Eclipso, many times in the past. Bruce assures everyone that Eclipso is gone and will never show his half-shaded face ever again. Promise. Swear.

In addition to hokey scientists, Ferris Aircraft is also in the sights of a United States Congressman who, for some reason not mentioned in the story, has a mad-on for Ferris Aircraft and decides the best course of action is to hire a super villain to trash the place. Continuity Alert: the congressman decides to outsource any mercenary-hiring through the mysterious Monitor, last seen plaguing the Teen Titans. Who is The Monitor? Where does he get his inexhaustible supply of C-grade bad guys? Answers to come soon enough!

I wasn't kidding. It's even the cliffhanger.

In the meantime, the hired-gun super-villain Javelin make his debut, and, as the name suggests, he throws trick Javelins. As the name dos not suggest he also speaks with a ludicrous German accent. Normally trick javelins shouldn't really prove a problem to a man who wields an intergalactic space ring that turns thought to reality. In fact, when Javelin first appears, he can only one-up some Ferris guards because they think he looks like an ass and don't take his throwing sticks seriously. Walk in the park for any intrepid superhero, right?

Right. Too bad for Green Lantern but Javelin's favorite color is yellow. His costume is even mostly yellow, which has the unintended side effect that the ring won't work on Javelin. Regardless, the banana-colored criminal's love of yellow is so prevalent that one of his trick javelins explodes in yellow paint when it strikes the target. Too bad for Green Lantern that once covered in yellow paint, mid-flight, mind you, his ring goes worthless and he plummets like a stone. Almost dies. Fucking yellow. Eventually Hal skewers Javelin (ha!) and saves Ferris from destruction.

But really, I'm having trouble with the yellow thing. I enjoy Green Lantern for the goofy villains and the goofy alien races with cool designs, but I'm disliking the title because an unexplained weakness against the color yellow kind of tips the threshold of stupid for me. We'll receive an explanation for this weakness Post-Crisis, but for right now, I can't wrap my head around how a weapon poweful enough to give form to thought can't overcome a weakness such as yellow. The weakness is as boring as Hal Jordan is as a character.. He's not really interesting nor does he have any interesting conflicts or flaws. He's a bland white guy in a mask who really hates lemons. Things should be getting interesting soon though....

Javelin's masterstroke is a giant javelin. How can you not root for him?