The Flash 337-340
“Trial of The Flash Part 4”
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| Gang-bang gone wrong. |
While the lawyers convene at court and
jury selection begins on the murder trial of the Flash,
the scarlet-clad superhero concerns himself with other things, namely
an attack by an army of villains. The thing to remember with these
villains is that they are far from the silliest Flash has faced. No,
these are the serious guys.
The
Pied Piper, who aided in the destruction of the FlashMuseum, as well as trying to
kill the mayor and frame Flash
wants to take advantage of Flash's murder-trial situation just to
cause the hero grief. This is what villains do, so it's hard to
really fault him this. Flash finds fault with it though and after a
ludicrous sequence in which Piper reveals that he can use his pipes
to open a rift to a hidden dimension and summon what are, for lack of
a better term, sound demons, pummels Piper into brain damage. Really,
he's left a gibbering, grinning loon after all is said and done.
Going along with the old adage of 'honor among thieves,' some of
Piper's friends in the rogues business don't take too kindly to this
turn of events.
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| Piper's big plan. Turn Flash into a fucking yo-yo. |
Flash
is an expert about sending people to the mental house,
so while he's slightly remorseful, about as remorseful as he is
regarding his wife-to-be's stay in the hospital, Piper apparently had
it coming. At least Piper has friends who give a damn about what
happens to him in the guise of Captain Cold, bank-robber
extraordinaire who wears a parka all year-round and wields a
cold-gun; Trickster, maniac anarchist who uses weapons disguised as
practical jokes; Captain Boomerang, Australian mercenary who uses,
survey says, trick boomerangs; Weather Wizard, would-be criminal who
can control the weather; and finally, Mirror Master, an assassin who
has a gaggle of trick mirrors at his disposal. Together, with the
Pied Piper, as well as The Reverse-Flash, when he was alive, these
villains comprise The Rogues, Central City's greatest assemblage of
crime.
I came up with
that phrasing myself and it's not bad.
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| They're really trying to hide Big Sir. With a ground-level rain cloud. |
Put these
masterminds in a room and what comes out is a fairly round-about,
fairly stupid plan to finally kill The Flash. Thinking The Flash
meant to kill both the Reverse-Flash as well as incapacitate Piper,
The Rogues begin fearing for their own lives and agree to dress up a
super-strong man with the mind of a child as a villain and set him
loose on The Flash. They also have the gusto to engage The Monitor
to provide the dangerous armor and armament that will make the
deranged man-child Big Sir an unstoppable killing machine. Monitor's
spent enough time arming and providing super-villains with work and
weaponry all under the guise of averting or perpetrating some
forthcoming disaster (Crisis, duh) so he goes along with their
silly plan.
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| Just remember they had to strip him to dress him. |
Of course this
doesn't work, not only does The Flash not die, but he ends up making
friends with his would-be assassin, the moronically-named Big Sir.
The Rogues are able to make their escape and Flash is able to make it
to court on time...for his trial to begin.
My
praise from Part 1 of this story
seems to have been premature. 'The Trial of The Flash' drags in this
middle section, with Flash's supposedly impressive rogues gallery
proving themselves to be just as stupid as they look. There's none of
the real kookiness or Silver-Age charm here, just a bloated story
that feels like its buying time, stretching itself thin just to make
it to the next milestone issue (350) and the moment to finally put
this story out of its misery. With the titular trial finally
happening, I hope things look up, if not for The Flash, then for the
reader.
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| These are the crazy things I love about The Flash. Batting away an RPG with a protestor's sign. |
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