Pre-Crisis Primer: Batman needs a Robin

Batman 408-409

“Just Another Kid in Crime Alley”

'Sup Gordon?

Ah, the plights of continuity. Readers who give a shit will noticed we jumped almost 80 issues from the last Batman update as well as jumping from Pre-Crisis to Post-Crisis as these issue came out in 1987. This is the only time in the entire run (I believe) where I supplant an original story for the Post-Crisis retcon. Retcon, for those unaware of the term, stands for 'retroactive continuity' where an original story is either overridden by a new telling or this some new “things-you-didn't-know-at-the-time” twist to be added.

The Batmobile is just a Trans-Am.

I'm not a big fan of retcons as a story-telling device, which is an odd statement considering the whole of the Post-Crisis can be seen as a retcon. We'll talk more about the Crisis as retcon once we actually get into the Post-Crisis proper. This particular story replaces the original, Pre-Crisis telling of both the rift between Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne as well as the introduction of Jason Todd and his taking the role of the second Robin. I avoided most retcon stories between Pre- and Post-Crisis by not including original stories that are later overridden by later continuity where I felt I could. This is a major reason as to why I don't have any solo Wonder Woman or Superman stories from the Pre-Crisis as the histories of the characters are completely re-written Post-Crisis. Regardless, I wanted to include the Post-Crisis version of this story because Dick abandoning the Robin role and the introduction of Jason Todd are major story elements in Pre-Crisis Batman and Teen Titans stories as well as the Post-Crisis version of the story being very important to a lot of continuity elements that fuel later stories. All that said, we'll have this divergence to a later re-telling of the original story before settling back into original Pre-Crisis stories after these events. Teen Titans #34 will pick back up with Dick Grayson still Robin but no longer working with Batman and Batman #363 will pick up with Jason Todd moving into Wayne Manor.

As this whole blog is testament to, I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to continuity minutiae. As I mentioned when I started this though: I love the shared-universe of comics, and the events of one story being referenced and played-off in a future story from another title. When everything works, it's very exciting, and I'm proud of this aspect working well.

Jason smokes, that's how we know how bad he is.

All that being said, finally getting to the actual contents of two little issues, while I enjoy the idea behind the story and the end results, the actual story-telling is pretty ridiculous.

The story opens with Batman and Robin going up against the Joker. It's a pretty classic scenario that ends with a twist: Robin is shot by The Joker and mortally wounded. Of course he recovers from these injuries, but the entire affair has forced Batman to the decision that he has no right to put a child, forgetting that Dick Grayson is at least 18, probably older, at this point, and dissolves their relationship. With this Dick leaves the mansion and these plot points, as I mentioned before, will be picked up in Teen Titans #34.

Some time passes, and while visiting Crime Alley on the anniversary of his parent's death, Batman returns to find the Batmobile's tires boosted and his bad-ass car resting on concrete blocks. Incredulous, Batman tracks his tires to a young boy squatting in an abandoned tenement: Jason Todd. Like any sensible adult who dresses in an animal totem, Batman decides to turn Jason over to a local orphanage, Ma Gunn's Home for Wayward Boys despite the boy's protesting to the contrary.

Ma Gunn turns out to not be the kindly old woman taking in destitute boys out of the kindness of her heart but is instead a chain-smoking big-bad-mama who trains boys in her care to be expert thieves and criminals. With Jason's help, Batman uncover Ma's secret and shuts the school down. The story ends with Batman agreeing to take Jason in and begin training him as the new Robin.

For a Post-Crisis story, this plot twist is pretty Silver Age.

With a lot of Post-Crisis retcons to Pre-Crisis stories, the emphasis was on changing the original story in a more realistic way and do away with a lot of the silliness of older Silver and Bronze Age stories. 'Just Another Kid in Crime Alley' begins in this way, having Batman realize what a poor idea it is to have a young sidekick and then changing Jason Todd's origin from his Pre-Crisis roots.

Jason's original character was a carbon copy of Dick Grayson Pre-Crisis from the similar origin (young circus acrobat loses his parents to crime) to the same loyalty to Bruce and his wise-cracking attitude. Jason Todd was a simple way for DC to age Dick Grayson but not lose the Robin character. Jason Todd Post-Crisis is a much different, and much more interesting, character. Jason has a chip on his shoulder, he doesn't always listen to Bruce as Dick did, and he doesn't have that acrobatic training Dick started with. As a Robin, Jason Todd will provide a much different challenge to Bruce as time goes on.

A class on booze. Nice.

While these changes are all good, the story fails in making Bruce's adoption of Jason make sense aside from 'Batman needs a Robin.' So quickly after dismissing the much-better trained Dick Grayson for a mistake, Bruce feels it necessary to take-in a troubled child because is one attempt at providing the child a normal life in an orphanage failed. As we'll see though, this decision to take Jason in will go on to haunt Bruce for a long time after.

Pre-Crisis Primer: I like Kyle Rayner

Green Lantern 172

“Judgment Day”

Even when whining about his girlfriend, Hal has time to stomp crime.

Green Lantern is back! I'm not sure where he was before, but initial confusion is all part of the fun with stories and continuity beginning in media res.

A quick bit of primer: Green Lantern is test pilot Hal Jordan, a man chosen by a dying alien to be one of the Green Lantern Corps: space-cops with magic wishing rings. Literally, the ring can create green plasma constructs of whatever the wearer wishes. As long as the wish or need is not of selfish origin. Alas, this ring has one weakness: it will not work on the color yellow.

The character from the 5-page back up is more interesting than Hal. Plus he couldn't be bested by a lemon.

This titanic tale of terrific intrigue opens as GL Jordan is cruising through space eager to return home. Apparently he'd been ordered off Earth for one year to dedicate more time to the rest of his assigned 'space sector' rather than just watching over his home planet. A quick digression: One of the aspects of the 'shared universe' story-telling I love about comic books is evidenced with scenes like this. I'm clearly at the beginning of a story as well as the end of one; these characters have continuing stories and lives that aren't simply bound in neat story arcs. I'll bring this up more and more as these articles progress, but I can't stress enough the appeal of the shared universe. And this story also explains why we haven't seen Green Lantern thus far. See how much fun continuity makes everything?

Arriving at the planet Oa, the known center of the entire universe and home to the Green Lantern Corps, Jordan argues with the makers of the Green Lantern ring, The Guardians, for being allowed to return to Earth. The Guardians are known to be the oldest beings in the universe and probably the first sentient race as well. This status has afforded them the luxury of self-appointing themselves protectors of order in the universe. To this end they've created the Green Lantern Corps to patrol and police all of the 3600 sectors of space in this dimension. The Guardians are mostly just but always self-serving and a continual thorn in Jordan's side. Regardless of this adversarial relationship with his bosses, The Guardians grant Jordan's request to return to Earth.

I like the beak-faced guy. Also, see Hal be a pimp with alien women. He's the Kirk of the DCU.

 During the celebration many other members of the Corps are introduced. Hal Jordan may be a milquetoast character (spoiler: he's lame), a white-bread caricature of rebellion and cockiness, but the various non-Earth-based members of the Corps have always been a repository of bitching looking aliens. When white-bread just won't do, go with the pink humanoid with four arms or the tree-man. In fact, always go for the tree-man.

Jordan's return to Earth ends with a pretty laughable scene of him returning home to see his girlfriend, Carol Ferris, (after a year, of course) and finding her in the arms of another man. Of course, in the grand style of crappy comedies of misunderstanding, Hal realizes this was all a misunderstanding and he and Carol make up after he throws a contrived tantrum. soap opera hand-wringing in comics is approved, but keep the sitcom-style antics away, please.

All he had to do was act like an adult and talk to Carol, but then he couldn't scream her name at sub-sonic speeds.

I don't know why Green Lantern would want to return to Earth; space with all it's wacky alien-ness seems so much more fun. Regardless, we have our introduction to  Hal Jordan and next issue we'll have some rousing Earth-bound adventures I'm sure. At least there'll be grand Z-grade villains to wallow in. I love that shit. No gorillas though, sadly enough.

Pre-Crisis Primer: Teen Titans Go!

Teen Titans #33

“Who Killed Trident?”

Pretty cover. I love how potential reader will know immediately who Trident is.

 This is a fun example of one of my favorite kinds of comic stories: a done-in-one issue which takes a semi-forgotten Z-list villain and gives the poor bastard a clever twist and some spotlight.

The story is simple: Trident, a man in a gleefully color costume who uses a giant fork to poke people, has turned up dead in The East River and the Titans need to find the culprit. Aside from a straight-ahead mystery though, one thing still nags each of the Titans: that previous week several of them had fought Trident at separate times as he committed various robberies and had come away with a completely different impression of the man that don't match up with each other.

Raven and Wonder Girl fought a man with a cunning intelligence while Beast Boy and Cyborg claim Trident was a monosyllabic moron. Finally Terra and Kid Flash relate the story of a cruel Trident, and also a man who was clearly ill, sneezing throughout the entire battle.

George Perez draws destruction so prettily.

 All the while, Robin is absent from the story tailor-made for him (Robin loves mysteries!). Citing a growing gap between him and The Batman, Dick Grayson has become more and more distant from his teammates, most notably his girlfriend Starfire. Robin spends the issue with DA Adrian Chase, hunting down evidence against the mobster who was behind the kidnappings in a previous story, “Runaways.'

With Robin away, the team bands together to solve this mystery, and luckily for them it's pretty easy. A Trident with three different personalities or three different men pretending to be Trident? The Titans deduce the latter, and with one of the three men pretending to be Trident dead, easily track down the two remaining men: ex-scientists from super-crime cabal H.I.V.E organization that habitually plagues the Titans. Seems the men were trying to cash in on the notoriety of the 'Trident' persona and murdered their partner when they found he was holding out on them and skimming from the top. Short work is made of the duo and a rainy-day mystery is solved.

The 'Done-in-one' is the kind of episodic storytelling that comics do really well. The main story in this issue is, while a decent read, unimportant to the overall legacy and story of the Teen Titans, but the sub-plots and character arcs are carried over from previous issues and will continue to play out in the future. Starfire blames herself for Robin's isolationist behavior, Changeling continues to form a bond with Terra, Kid Flash is thinking about leaving the team, and Terra feels that she doesn't belong as a member of the team because the others don't trust her with secret identities yet. 

Sharks or Bears or Gorillas: Comics love 'em. Also, Terra punched Changeling; she likes him.

 These aspects give the reader a better impression of the characters as a whole: they aren't confined to the story being read, their lives intersect and comprise many different stories. I'll put on my grouch-old-man hat for a second and bemoan the trend in comics to lean towards larger 6-12 issues story arcs that don't overlap. I think this type of story-telling is better suited to television or film, but doesn't use the episodic nature, nor the history of most comic-book characters to their fullest potential.

Ok, hat off. I'm sure we'll discuss this more the further we get into this whole Post-Crisis exercise. Final word: good issue, great cover, and so worth a pick-up from the fifty-cent-bin.

Pre-Crisis Primer: Water Your Plants

Swamp Thing 22-24

'Roots'

Waldo has nothing on Swamp Thing.

Last we left the Swamp Thing, he had discovered that he wasn't who he thought he was: a man dressed in foliage; rather he found he's the opposite: foliage acting like a man. In a last defiant act as a human being, Swamp Thing cries his heart out, eats a tub of Hӓgen Daaz and promptly roots himself down into the ecosystem of a marsh. He's sad and really doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.

Don't piss off a tree.

 Man or not, Swamp Thing was a generally nice guy to people back when he was walking around and trying to 'cure' himself of the being-a-plant affliction, so naturally he made friends. Abby and Matt Cable, two friends also targeted by General Sunderland from the previous story are naturally worried because they haven't heard from Swampy since he was shot in the head. Still thinking he's mostly human, they set off to look for him in the swamp. Side-note: Since this is a comic, Abby Cable is of course the niece of Swamp Things arch nemesis, Anton Arcane, who will show up often, no matter how often he's killed. Digression aside, what Abby and Matt find instead of a Swamp Thing is a swamp-mound that looks oddly like a man who's had too much ice cream, Creepily enough they also find the Floronic Man, using plasti-skin out of a can (where does he get those wonderful toys?) to hid his normally wooden appearance, studying the Swamp-Thing-mound in the name of science.

After ushering the Cables off and assuring them their friend is in most capable hands, one of Floronic Man's first experiments is to eat a root vegetable that grew from the Swamp Thing's body. Probably the only known instance of man-plant cannibalism in the world of literature. Assumptions though, of course.

He must work out.

This act  drives the Floronic Man mad in so much that it connects him to a representation of all plant life on the planet which calls itself 'The Green' and also convinces him that the plants want him to kill all the humans. Armed with a new mission, Floronic Man wanders to the closest town and starts blowing people up and hitting them with chainsaws.

This act of mass-murder gets the attention of the Justice League who promptly sit on their satellite and...discuss the philosophical implications of all plant life wanting all humankind dead. With the JLA being ineffectual, Abby Cable takes it upon herself to snap Swamp Thing out of his funk. Get over it, bro! Once up and uprooted, Swamp Thing puts on his superhero shoes, faces the Floronic Man and straight-up breaks his fool arm. Because plants don't have time for this shit. Swamp Thing then goes on to psyche out Floro by explaining that he's not a real plant, but a man who wishes to be a plant but still thinks like a man; namely, all the murder. At this point the JLA finally arrive and steal all the credit. Glory hogs.

Witness the shining moment of a previously lame villain. Will be lame again.

This story completes the reworking of Swamp Thing that began in issue 21. Swamp Thing has come to terms with what he is and is ready to face whatever challenges now lie ahead. I also really like how this issue treats The Floronic Man. Rather than focusing on the silly idea of a man who turned himself into wood to perpetrate a life of crime, the focus is instead on a scientist who was ruthless, yet also curious enough, to experiment on his own body as a means of proving himself right. Disastrous consequences be damned. I'm a big fan of forgotten characters and C-grade villains having a chance to shine. It may be cliche, but I'm a fan of the adage "Every character has at least one good story in them." If there's not another one, than this would be a triumph for The Floronic Man.

Pimp.

Pre-Crisis Primer: A Lava Bath is like a Sauna

Batman Annual 8

'Messiah of the Crimson Sun'

Batman versus Ra's Al Ghul round 2!

Robin is concerned.

 I know, Batman just fought Ra's and dropped his ass into a volcano, how the hell is Ra's back already? Continuity Alert: originally this issue came out over a year after the previous story with the aforementioned volcano bath, but because all of these Pre-Crisis stories are less complete and more consisting of what I have and wanted to read, I was compelled to be a little loose with continuity. I know, I'm sickened by it way more than you are, but the continuity gets much tighter after 'Crisis' so no worries. Plus the continuity still works, it's just the pacing that's more off than anything. Usually human beings who take sauna-dips in pools of magma stay dead a little longer than 4 blog entries. Regardless, Pre-Crisis is about setting the stage so we can better appreciate (or not) what changes during Post-Crisis. Plus this issue is bad-ass! I didn't want to leave it out and make me sad.

I'll come right out and admit the story is disappointing and I'll probably run through the synopsis so, dear reader, you can marvel at the bitching art I will be posting. Calling it now: this is an art-heavy post!

Hey, burnt the faces right off those children. Fantastic.

The story starts out promising enough with the some madman or another proving his madman-ness by using the sun as a weapon to kill a man and his two sons in front of the family matriarch before slaughtering the entire town. The solar madman, presumably proud of his action, claims responsibility for the mass-murder by conflagration via television signal hijack and proclaims Gotham is next target. Essentially the town-burning was just the first step in an elaborate plan to piss off Batman.

Batman is so pimp in that large panel.

Talia , forever-estranged daughter of Ra's al Ghul appears; Robin dresses up as a  Jesus wannabe to infiltrate the sun-worshiping madman's cult; and, surprise, surprise, Ra's al Ghul is revealed as the madman behind it all. Being the smart man he is, Ra's only targeted Gotham because he knew it would get Batman's attention and he wanted to gloat. The master plan this time around is to harness the power of the sun as a destructive laser and use it to wipe out most of mankind from an orbiting space station. Batman objects to this by punching Ra's a bunch of times before sending him and an escape pod into the sun. It's clear Ra's burns to death because a) it's the sun and b) we clearly see his body turn to ash. Batman is not one with whom to fuck.

The pacing for the story is way off, cramming too much story into 40 pages. I also don't understand why the writer would go through the trouble of coming up with a complicated resurrection story for Ra's surviving the volcano dip (the Lazarus formula, the secret alchemical process that keeps Ra's immortal, somehow interacted with the primal Earth elements of the burning magma to regrow a brand-new body for the melted Ra's, whew) if he was just going to have Batman toss him into the sun ten pages later. Unless the writer just really wanted to push the point regarding what happens when one pisses off Batman and why it's a bad reason to do so.

He loves her. His coldness is the equivalent of punching a girl at recess.

 As I've shown, even if the story isn't very good, the artist was more than up to the task of producing bitching comics and creates one of the best-looking Batman comics I've ever read.

We get fetus Ra's as well as Ra's in a 'neon-apocalypse' costume.

Ra's Al Ghul death count: 2

Pre-Crisis Primer: Love Doesn't Need A Body

Teen Titans 28-31

“Terra”

Teen Titans goes for less realism this time around and goes right to those goofy villains I mentioned last time I reviewed this title. Also, major continuity alert: Terra joins the Titans in this story! Should we be celebrating?

Pimps.

This is a big crazy superhero brawl that introduces us to the seriously-named Brotherhood of Evil who are led by a disembodied brain and his lover/bodyguard, the psychotic French gorilla Monsieur Mallah. The team also features on its roster a man made of hot lava play-doh. Not exactly scary. The Brotherhood of Evil will shortly become jokes through out much of the DCU, culminating in a declaration of love and a tragic suicide in a future Doom Patrol title. Before this though, we have them trying to be scary and threatening. I should also mention that the Brotherhood boasts a man in a stupid costume who does electronic voodoo.They're pretty dumb if I haven't been clear enough; but it's comics so it's fine.

My favorite of the Ape bad guys.

Green shape-shifter (comics) Changeling convinces a cynical runaway terrakinetic (I made that up: moves the ground with her mind), Terra, to officially joins the Titans during this outing. She takes this opportunity to mock everyone on the team. With their snarky new teammate in town, and Changeling nursing a crush on the spunky blonde newbie, the Titans find themselves embroiled in a war between The Brain's Brotherhood of Evil (trying the same thing they do every night...) and the religious crackpot Brother Blood. 

Such an adorable couple.

 Aside from having a name that can't possibly be reconciled to any religion that wants anything to do with peace (most of them), Brother Blood likes to meditate atop a throne of  skulls. He does not have peoples best interests at heart. Regardless, when he and the Brotherhood go to war, innocent people do get hurt and that is when the Titans get involved. But of course getting the Titans involved is all part of The Brain's elaborate plan (would a brain in a fish tank have any other kind of plan?) to capture the Titan's resident empath Raven.

Raven is the 'magic-user' of the team. She comes from another dimension, her father is a demon named Trigon, and her powers are emotional-based; meaning she can heal, is attuned to the feelings of others, and is very reserved. The Brotherhood attempt to drive Raven bat-shit crazy and get the crap kicked out of them for their trouble. . Once the Titans come to rescue their kidnapped friend, a battle royale ensues and The Brotherhood is defeated. Raven is free of their influence (with a lingering sub-plot concerning her aforementioned demon-father that surely won't ever come up again) and Brother Blood is free to continue preaching in peace and skulls.

Raven's fantasy of Kid Flash. And she likes him.

Definitely a 180-turn in style and tone from the previous, grounded story. 'Terra' is big on action and short on ideas. A very fun read to a very good run of titles. I'm excited to see what's next for the angst-filled sidekicks.

Pre-Crisis Primer: How the British Saved American Comics

Swamp Thing 21

'The Anatomy Lesson'

Welcome to a very special episode of 'Post-Crisis PostScript.' Just kidding, mostly. For those who don't know, this issue of Swamp Thing is arguably one of the most important comics DC has ever published. A lot's been written about this issue, so I'm not going to bend over backwards and portray it as the second coming. Although, I will take a paragraph to sing the praises of this issue before moving onto to a basic synopsis/review.

This book is the first mainstream American work from 'Watchmen' writer Alan Moore. The success of Swamp Thing would spur DC to recruit other young, talented British writers like Neil Gaiman, Jaime Delano, and Grant Morrison, among others, whose works will be covered in more detail later over the course of this blog. Most importantly, 'The Anatomy Lesson' happens to be an incredibly excellent, well-written comic book that turns the entire mythos of the Swamp Thing on its head. Essentially a retcon (retroactive continuity) for the best.

Congratulations, it's a zucchini.

Moore opens the story with Swamp Thing in the morgue, having been shot in his fool head. Corrupt businessman (is there any other) Sunderland has hired the Jason Woodrue (the Floronic Man), another man/plant hybrid (whom we met here), to perform an autopsy on Swamp Thing thus learning the secrets of his unique biology (especially his anti-aging techniques). During his investigation, Woodrue discovers something: Swamp Thing is not a man, Alec Holland, mutated by an experimental formula (again, is there any other kind?) and exposure to the swamp, instead he's a plant mutated by the experimental formula to think it's the man!

And as Woodrue points out before disappearing into the night: one can't kill a plant by shooting it in the head.

Good point.

Reminds me of a certain scene with a tree in the original Evil Dead.

Long story short, the no-longer-never-was-dead Swamp Thing wakes up, discovers he can never be human again because he never was human, goes insane, and absolutely tears shit up, including, but not limited to, killing corrupt old men who screw with him. Secrets to not aging: die young.

We first met the Floronic Man when he teamed up with the Ultra-Humanite to screw out with the multiversal continuum to limited success. It seems his ordeal in limbo at the end of that story had a profound effect as the character will be a creepier, much more successful villain in the stories to follow. I'll touch on as this blog continues, but I love when Z-list villains are given the spotlight in great stories. Men made of wood can be just as creepy as hyper-intelligent gorillas. They just can't hit as hard.

So sexy.

I wanted to include Swamp Thing, as well as several other titles like Sandman and Hellblazer, as a balance to the more traditional superhero stuff that defines most of the Post-Crisis DC Universe. Part of what makes the DCU so compelling is the contrast of small-scale, intimate stories tucked within the corners of the gaudy superhero epics. 'The Anatomy Lesson' is the first of many such stories we'll explore.