“Superheroes Make Terrible Suitors”
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| Superman knows how to treat a woman. |
In a few past articles, namely those
regarding Batman, Green Lantern, and The Flash,
I've made quite a few jokes at the superhero characters' inability to
maintain any healthy interpersonal relationships. Bruce Wayne makes
it a habit to blow off Vicki Vale anytime Batman is needed; Hal
Jordan expects Carol Ferris to wait in celibacy while he soars the
universe as Green Lantern for years at a time; and Barry Allen thinks
it's OK to attempt to marry a woman without ever informing her that
he is The Flash, an act which leads to just the kind of super villain
attack having a secret identity is supposed to prevent and the poor
woman landing in a mental institution.
Even Dick Grayson, Robin from the Teen Titans thought the best way
to woo alien beauty Starfire is to act moody and withdrawn. Way to
set an example Batman.
I
swear, the only superhero to show any kind of interest or skill in
maintaining interpersonal relationships is Swamp Thing.
The man made of moss knows more about humanity and treating others
with respect than the rich white guys. So typical, superheroes.
But what is it
about superheroes that causes relationships to go so sour? One can
cynically argue that it's more of an editorial function, that these
male superheroes are valuable as licensed characters popular to a
male audience that that means icky girls can't be around to mess up
the works and the relationships detailed in these stories will always
be rocky and poorly handled. The big monkey wrench in that theory is
Superman.
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| Sorry Batman, Superman is better than you at sex. |
Superman is maybe
not the most popular superhero anymore, but he is certainly the most
well-known. Superman also has the most well-known relationship in
comics with the most well-known female comic book character: Lois
Lane. Lois is as old as Superman, she first appeared in Action Comics
#1 back in 1938 and has appeared in almost every issue featuring
Superman since. Lois Lane has starred in her own title, 'Superman's
Girlfriend Lois Lane.' Sure, she's labeled as Superman's girlfriend,
but make no mistake, the 'Lois Lane' part of the title was the larger
font. And goddam right that it was. This title ran 137 issues and
outlasted solo titles for many other popular characters such as
Aquaman, The Atom, Hawkman, and Martian Manhunter. Lois is as popular
and as well-known to the Superman mythos as Superman himself.
Superman and Lois
have maintained a relationship for the better part of 70 years.
Sometimes Lois would be chasing Superman, other times Superman would
be jealous of Lois' relationships. Eventually the pair grew up and married. And they
remained so. Regardless of the current climate (as of the continuity
reboot dubbed 'The New 52' in September 2011, Superman and Lois never
had a relationship), the characters themselves never nullified their
relationship, never mistreated one another, never divorced. Upon
revealing their true feelings for each other, one of the first things
Superman did was reveal his dual-identity to Lois as a sign of trust,
and most importantly, respect. Take notes, Barry. Superman would
never marry Lois without full disclosure.
Are the sour
superhero relationships a sign of sexism in comic writing? I hope
not. Is there sexism in superhero comics. Hell yes, and I lament
that. Is every relationship a case of favoring a male character over
a disposable female character? Again, I hope not and I don't think
so. Granted, in the example of Barry Allen and Fiona Webb, I do find
that series of events worrisome but are holding out definitive
judgment until the story ends. Batman is one of my examples of
superheroes who flat-out fucking suck at holding down a relationship.
His list of exes, Silver St. Cloud, Selina Kyle, Sasha Bourdeaux,
Vesper Fairchild, Talia al Ghul etc. is legendary. While Selina Kyle,
the thief Catwoman, is usually thought of as Batman's Lois Lane,
Vicki Vale has been his longest civilian relationship.
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| Hal's a block of wood painted green. No idea why Carol puts up with that shit. |
In the Batman
comics we're exploring in this blog, Bruce is doing a bang-up job
screwing up the chances of any relationship he might have with Vale.
While she's still a prominent supporting character in the book, their
relationship is now over. The reasons I'm hesitant to just throw
sexism out as a blanket reason is the writer's portrayal of Vicki:
she ended the relationship, rightly feeling her time and emotions
were not being respected and instead of wallowing in her sadness, she
seeks out journalist assignments, throwing herself into work as a
means of coping and ends up providing great aid to Batman on several
cases.
Sexism is present,
and is the reason for some superhero failed romances, but isn't the
only or major reason I think for the rash of poor romances.
It's
possible that the reason is right in front of my face and it's just
editorial decisions made to keep the characters bachelors regardless
of Superman, but I'm trying not to be cynical about this. It's
possible, that's just the story these characters build for
themselves: the superhero as a silent, stoic avengers, setting the
needs of others above his or her own needs. Regardless, I don't have
a lot of conclusions other than that, I don't believe this to be a
strict editorial function or a lark of sexist writers, but something
to pay attention to and explore more as I get deeper into the
Post-Crisis. The one conclusion we can state: superhero characters
are terrible at interpersonal relationships. The drama does keep
audiences coming back though; that's probably the real answer. When
in doubt, look to 'Moonlighting.'
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| Pimp moss. Take lessons, guys. |
I really don't have a problem with superheroes screwing up their relationships. In fact, i think it adds a bit of much needed realism to stories that sometimes (often, maybe) rely on too many unrealistic plot twists and scenarios to keep them interesting. Of course Bruce Wayne sucks at relationships...but maybe that comes from his childhood trauma of seeing his parents murdered rather than just some 'i've got criminals to catch' excuse to blow off Vale.
ReplyDeleteThat being said. Props to pimp moss.
I think it goes a little beyond adding realism when it affects character and story. True, it does seem to make more sense with Bruce Wayne attempting relationships with a civilian like Vale. He's more suited to other similarly broken characters like Catwoman or Talia. It's The Flash that prompted this: his treatment of his soon-to-be-wife is downright deplorable and I found it hard to get wrapped up in his plight. I keep worrying about the woman languishing in an asylum because he won't take off his mask.
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